My 5th grader is studying poetry in school and asked if I had any favorite poems. I smiled because I knew he wouldn’t understand it at all, but I admitted that there is one that I keep coming back to over and over again.
She Let Go by Safire Rose (audio version)
She let go.
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…
Although the author doesn’t ever define what she’s letting go of, I know what it is, at least for me.
It’s expectations.
It’s perfectionism.
It’s fear.
It’s making other people happy.
It’s the shoulds.
It’s the self-doubts.
It’s society’s definition of success.
It’s saying yes when I really want to say no.
It’s saying no when I really want to say yes.
It’s not rocking the boat.
It’s shrinking.
It’s putting other people’s comfort and needs ahead of my own.
I dream of a time when I’ve completed the task of letting go and shedding all that is not mine to own, but I know it’s going to be a lifelong process of unlearning and relearning. Maybe I’ll never fully let go, but I’m working on loosening my grip.
In the meantime, I’m grateful that my 11-year-old doesn’t yet understand this poem (or know what a Day-Timer is!) and I hope it's a very long time until he does.
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